Fair Marriage Foundation / 712-485-4800
Below are a list of questions people have asked and we have tried to answer. If you do not find the answer to your question submit your inquiry here. We will respond as soon as possible.
According to the LGBT statistics and the U.S. Census, it is estimated that 5% of the population are LGBT, 60% marry straight spouses, and each family has an average of 1.87 children. This creates an estimated 17,895,900 children who are being raised in mixed-orientation or broken mixed-orientation marriages in the United States. 179,520 of those children are from the state of Iowa.
When considering the numbers above, we cannot forget the impact sexual-orientation marriage fraud has on the extended family and friends. This type of fraud affects grandparents, aunts and uncles, and siblings of the injured spouse; the destruction could easily reach one-third of our nation.
While it is difficult to get statistics that are consistent, most of the data used to obtain these numbers came from college websites and the LGBT themselves. The Fair Marriage Foundation used their statistics and reduced them fifty percent to make sure we are not overreaching. While these numbers are difficult to prove there is a tremendous amount of evidence to support the suggested statistics.
The marriage license is the point of origin where the fraud is initiated. It is the moment in time when the state binds two people together legally as one unit. While they may remain separate individuals, they share legal responsibilities that cannot be removed without a legal document being signed by a judge in the form of a divorce decree or death certificate.
The Fair Marriage Foundation has one goal; to prevent sexual-orientation marriage fraud. We want this generation to be the last generation to experience this kind of suffering. We want to end the lie before it starts and prevent more children from being caught in the middle of this emotionally charged political and social issue.
Identifying your sexual orientation on a marriage license will allow a criminal fraud charge to be proven in a court of law and prevent the victim from being accused of knowing and willingly participating in this crime. Giving a victim of criminal fraud the opportunity to pursue damages would be justice in every aspect, but a law to deter people from committing the fraud in the first place is our goal.
It is difficult to determine how long a straight spouse will struggle to accept they have been used to cover someone's sexual orientation. Some spouses never recover and some move on quickly, but from a legal aspect it can be decades. If a spouse is married for a long period of time and have young children at the time of divorce they are legally connected until their children reach the age of legal adulthood. Ex-spouses can take their victims to court for custody and child support anytime they want, which creates a legal bond that cannot be broken for decades. Emotionally, the spouse will be connected for life if children are involved.
When a fraudulent marriage occurs, the person committing this act will be granted privileges by the state and federal government. Some of these privileges include tax breaks, tax free inheritances, insurance benefits, control over their spouse's medical decision, and control over decisions about raising children. Every issue the LGBT addressed in court can be addressed in court for these fraudulent marriages only in reverse. These questions then create a very important legal concern about sexual-orientation marriage fraud and the damage it causes its victims.
The Fair Marriage Foundation interprets the "Right to Privacy" laws as follows. Everyone has the right to privacy until someone else has a vested interest in what you are doing; then they have the right to the information. While we are not lawyers, we feel the spouses, children, state, federal government, and insurance companies all have a right to be informed about a person's sexual orientation when marriage is the cornerstone of our society. There is too much at stake in a marriage union for the government to allow a secret of this magnitude to be kept, especially when children are involved.
The Fair Marriage Foundation believes straight spouses are being discriminated against when their spouses lie on their wedding day about who they really are. These spouses are being prevented from pursuing a heterosexual marriage and are being prevented from being full-time, hands-on parents. When they have children, they often find themselves in the middle of a divorce and if this fraud had not been perpetrated against them, they would have the opportunity to have a complete family.
Straight spouses simply want to be informed and to know who they are marrying, to know who they will be co-parenting with, and to know what their futures hold. Withholding information about sexual orientation deprives spouses from making an informed decision that impacts their entire future and "until death do us part" will never happen.
With this particular situation, you will only need to turn on the TV talk shows, watch news broadcasts, read the newspapers, search the Internet, or listen to all the activists who ever argued in favor of same-sex marriage to know this fraud happens often. All of the activists have made public displays of mixed-orientation marriages and took full advantage of these injured spouses to promote their agenda. There is a need for a law to protect innocent children from completely fraudulent marriages that destroy the family unit.
There are no laws that will prevent sexual-orientation marriage fraud but there is a federal law against immigration marriage fraud. There are some laws on record that address sexual orientation marriage fraud in Canada, but the fraud is addressed in a divorce hearing for a fault divorce after the damage has already been done. There have also been civil cases won on the grounds of marriage fraud. However, this is only an option for spouses that can afford to pay an attorney.
We do not have an answer to this question yet, but we are hoping legislators will consider the extent of damage these fraudulent marriages cause to the family unit when they discuss and form these new laws. Most likely this will be an amendment to the marriage license regulations that already exist. We are hoping our legislators will require everyone to identify their sexual orientation on a marriage license and then classify the deceit as fraudulent concealment of sexual orientation, followed by consequence of some kind that will be stiff enough to deter people from committing this crime.
No! Our request is to allow everyone to be informed about who they are marrying. If there are people willing to marry someone from a different sexual orientation, then they should have the legal right to do so. Mixed-orientation marriages will not be illegal unless they are committed against someone's will because it is the fraud we are addressing.
Yes! Immigration marriage fraud has been on the law books for a long time. There are also civil cases that have been tried and won by victims of sexual-orientation marriage fraud, but those cases are all about consequences. It is our goal to bring about prevention and to help people be informed.
By doing nothing politicians will be leaving victims with no avenue to address the crime perpetrated against them. Victims of sexual-orientation marriage fraud are entitled to the same respect and civil rights the LGBT community have fought for and won, and traditional marriage laws have always protected.
The definition of sex discrimination is as follows: an adverse action taken by one person against another person that would not have occurred had the person been of another sex. Discrimination of that nature is considered a form of prejudice and in certain enumerated circumstances is illegal.
The Fair Marriage Foundation feels marrying someone under false pretenses for financial, social, political, or reproductive gain is reverse discrimination and prejudices their spouse from having what the entire country has demanded, the right to have a valid marriage.
Some people believe there should be a substantial monetary value awarded to the victims of sexual orientation marriage fraud. There have been huge sums of money awarded to members of LGBT for discrimination and reverse discrimination should be viewed the same way. A wedding cake discrimination case in Oregon cost a cake maker $135,000 for discrimination and there were no children involved. A victim of sexual orientation marriage fraud has lost more than people can imagine and putting a dollar amount on the emotional pain and suffering would be very difficult. Immigration marriage fraud awards $250,000 to its victims and sexual orientation marriage fraud should reflect these laws.
No one knows exactly, but it appears they only have to state their sexual orientation when a need arises to prove a claim in a court of law. There are no regulations in place or standard test to establish if the information given is true. Most minorities are required to have proof of some kind and the LGBT are the exception to the rule.
A person can live as a heterosexual for many decades and never know they are LGBT. When they decide to embrace the LGBT lifestyle, they become a minority. The problem arises in the law itself; no one is supposed to be able to change their sexual orientation. It appears the laws are not completely clear on this specific issue and need addressed in a court room to bring clarity.
If someone is lying about their sexual orientation it is their own decision to be classified as a majority or minority. The problem that continually arises is once someone declares what sexual orientation they belong to, they cannot change their minds according to the current laws. The laws do not allow for people who live as a majority for forty years to change their identity. If they did then there is no place in our legal system for the minority status. The laws today state that a person must have an inherent trait they cannot change in order to be a minority. And yes, every day there is a straight spouse that is being destroyed by the newfound information of their spouses claiming they changed their sexual orientation.
In this moment in time there is no requirement to be classified as a minority. Businesses are not protected from people pretending to be a minority in a lawsuit. Spouses have no legal recourse when someone lies about their sexual orientation at the time of marriage, and sexual orientation cannot be used in a court of law for custody without it being viewed as discrimination. This is information that is kept secret, cannot be determined by someone’s appearance, and there is no legal or medical test that can be used in a court of law. When same-sex marriage laws passed there were a lot of suggestions made about medical proof through MRIs or psychiatric evaluations but most of the evidence used at that time has been proven to be inaccurate.
This is a very good question, a bi-sexual person may live as a majority (heterosexual) part of the time and as a minority part of the time, but the laws do not take this into account. There are cases where people have lived sixty years as a heterosexual and proclaimed to be a heterosexual right up to the moment they "come out of the closet." It is very difficult to justify this law when this happens, yet this has never been challenged in a court room that we are aware of.
At this time straight spouses are not considered a minority, but it is possible in the future this could happen.
Most people lie about their sexual orientation to conceal their lifestyle from family and friends and to be able to have biological children. Many people have gone on stage declaring they knew at the time of their heterosexual marriage they were LGBT and felt they had no choice but to follow through with this fraud. These statements are insulting to straight spouses and the excuses given for their behavior will never be acceptable excuses. There are many heterosexuals that never marry and the LGBT can live the same way. It is not a requirement to be married and it is not necessary to use heterosexuals to improve their quality of life.
If you look up “beard (companion)” in Wikipedia, you will find this definition:
Beard is a slang term describing a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner (boyfriend or girlfriend), or spouse either to conceal infidelity or to conceal one's sexual orientation.
It is very common for the LGBT to label the injured spouse as a Straight Spouse or a Beard. While this is a definition of what these victims are, it is an insulting manner in which this title is obtained. The Fair Marriage Foundation prefers to call these spouses victims or survivors of fraud because that is what they are, and this kind of marriage fraud is intentional and abusive.
Society has coined these marriages M.O.M.s; the acronym stands for Mixed-Orientation-Marriages. The Fair Marriage Foundation does not want the term we use to identify our mothers used in this fashion and hope to impact society enough to change this abusive language. Long ago these marriages where called Lavender Marriages.
It is a very popular thing for celebrities to live a heterosexual lifestyle and then later in life identify as LGBT. Several celebrities have appeared on TV talk shows explaining the journey they underwent to be able to be free to "come out of the closet." However, rarely are the straight spouses talked about. A google search will give you a clear picture of the amount of celebrities that have changed their sexual orientation.
Many children that discover one of their parents is lying about their sexual orientation need counseling, struggle with societal issues, and are torn between parent's lifestyles. There are some children that adjust, but there are also many that struggle with emotional issues for life. Some children commit suicide and some distance themselves from one or both parents. It disrupts their family unit so drastically these children have to find a strong sense of who they are to overcome and move on. These children should never be put in a position of being "the keeper of the secret."
The injured spouses of sexual-orientation marriage fraud rarely deal with the destruction of their family unit in a favorable way. Many spouses cannot absorb the level of deceit without years of counseling. Some spouses have been murdered when they discover the lye and some suffer with severe depression, psychosis, rage, and many other negative emotions that take years to overcome. These marriages almost always end in divorce and it is very common for the person that is hiding their sexual orientation to become hostile towards their victim.
While society may help the issue of sexual-orientation marriage fraud it will not prevent it. It is unrealistic to think that every major religious organization will change their teachings on marriage or, if they do, that it will prevent these marriages from occurring. There will always be people that want to hide their sexual orientation.
Often times a person that is committing sexual-orientation marriage fraud knows in advance, if not on the first day, their marriages will end in divorce. They prepare for the divorce long before the straight spouse even knows there is an issue and they do what it takes to benefit the most from their spouses. They make plans for the demise of the marriage by controlling finances, influencing family members to think there is something else going on, and have often been involved with a same-sex partner through the entire duration of the marriage.